Before leaving home I knew I didn’t belong. Every time I leave to travel and come home, I always feel like a different person and that Toronto just doesn’t do it for me. But what keeps me coming back are my family and friends.
After 3 months of family and friend time, plus some exploring around Ontario and Quebec, I have yet to figure out what it is that just doesn’t settle well with me here.
It could be that Torontonians are not as nice as the other Canadians; its a fast paced life which makes the city-goers keep to themselves. Although known for its multiculturalism, Toronto is more of a mosaic of segregated cultural groups rather than an explosion of culture where we all live in peace and harmony.
Most of all, I find that people in Toronto feel that we do have it all and feel that venturing anywhere out of here is unnecessary. This mentality forces them to live in a bubble which has a prime focus on a materialistic lifestyle, one that I can’t believe I was probably feeding into at some point or another.
If I do move back to Canada, my soul will not be content in this city. It’s a sad feeling when you learn that you have grown out of your hometown. Keep in mind my opinion of it is also based on living in the suburbs, but these days Torontonians can barely afford the real city life. This adds to the reason we stay in our bubble of comfort with people we’ve known all our lives. The security is there, but is it really good to be safe forever?
As I sit at Pearson airport not knowing when I’ll return to my home and native (sort of) land there is no pang of sadness or regret. Just a wave of memories of all the good people I know I am leaving behind, who will maybe one day also get out of their comfort zone and venture to lands far away (hopefully to visit me!).
Toronto will always be what I call home, but that sense of pride to be a Torontonian has somehow escaped me. Perhaps I’ll be more comfortable as a Busaner (did I just make that up).
Only time will tell!!